Two Tales Of Legolas
by InchySquinchy
Summary: Story One- Legolas appears in Fellowship Of The Ring a liiiiiiiiittle too soon. Story Two- What happens years later when Legolas takes Gimli and goes to sea.
1. Story One

STORY ONE  
  
"That fellow hasn't been doing anything but stare at you since we've arrived." Samwise Gamgee whispered to his comrade, Frodo Baggins.  
  
Frodo looked over. In a shadowed corner near the fireplace, sat a hooded man. His face was covered with darkness and you could not see his face.  
  
"Excuse me," Frodo stopped the bartender. He stooped down to hear the hobbit better. "That man in the corner. Who is he?"  
  
The bartender looked over and sighed. He turned back to Frodo. "He's one of them Rangers. Dan-"  
  
The bartender was interrupted as a young, blonde elf popped out of nowhere. "That is no mere ranger!" He exclaimed. "That is Aragorn! Son of Arathorn! You owe him your allegiance!"  
  
Nobody moved nore spoke. Then Aragorn stood up. "Legolas, what ARE you doing?"  
  
"I am merely saying-"  
  
"You aren't even supposed to BE in this scene!" Aragorn announced. "You don't come in until the Council!"  
  
"I am an Elf! I will do and say whatever I want!" Legolas said.  
  
"Yes but you AREN'T in this SCENE!" Aragorn shouted.  
  
"Looks like I am now."  
  
"Oy vay." Aragorn groaned, and looked at the two hobbits.  
  
"Is he really an Elf?" Sam asked.  
  
"Yes, ofcourse I am. What, you think I'm a Man with long hair and pointy ears?" Legolas asked.  
  
"Uh-"  
  
"Um, excuse me." Peregrin Took called out from the bar. "But I'm supposed to be saying that that is Frodo and, uh, I hate to be rude or anything but... where do I say it?"  
  
"Just drink your pint." Meridoc Brandybuck said, rolling his eyes.  
  
"Ooh, gladly." Pippin said happily and turned back to his pint.  
  
Everyone turned to Legolas (except Pippin who was gladly drinking his pint) and waited. "What?" The Elf asked.  
  
"Uh, go away?" Aragorn asked.  
  
"Oh come on. I'm hardly in this at all. I'm just the sexy Elf who shoots people with arrows and I don't MIND that but I'd like to be in it a bit more."  
  
"Listen, I'm not telling you to go away because I don't want you in this, but I am telling you to go away because you aren't supposed to show up until the COUNCIL!" Aragorn shrieked. "Nobody knows who you are!"  
  
"Aragorn, I was sticking up for you, you know."  
  
"Yes, Legolas, I know. Just-can you please go away so we can finish this?"  
  
"Fine. But I'm not showing up at the Council now. I'm going to take Gimli and go off to sea!"  
  
"You aren't supposed to do that until after I die!" Aragorn said. "Heck, you aren't even supposed to KNOW Gimli!"  
  
"I don't care. I'm still taking him and going off to sea now. I see my talents are of no use."  
  
"Legolas..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Go back to Mirkwood, and stay there until its time to go to the Council." Aragorn said with a sigh. "Please?"  
  
"Oh okay." Legolas grumbled and went off. 


	2. Story Two

STORY TWO  
  
(many, many, MANY years later after Aragorn is dead)  
  
Gimli, son of Glóin, sat on a rock surrounded by trees. "This is a nice place." He told himself, hands on his axe handle. His axe was upside down and he was leaning against it. "A nice place to sit and think."  
  
Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Gimli, Legolas was waiting behind a tree. "Five, four, three, two." Legolas counted to himself. He then took off in a speedy sprint. He raced to Gimli and as he passed him, picked him up.  
  
WEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
An alarm blared through the forest.  
  
"ATTENTION EVERYBODY! A DWARF HAS BEEN STOLEN! I REPEAT- A DWARF AS BEEN STOLEN!"  
  
Legolas ran down to the sea, carrying Gimli. He jumped onto a ship and sailed away.  
  
*(many, many, many years later)*  
  
Everyone stared at the tall, young man with pointed ears and a quiver of arrows on his back, and a bow in one hand walk down the street. Under his other arm he carried a short, bearded man with an axe.  
  
"Look, Gimli. A movie theater. And its playing OUR tale!" Legolas said in surprise.  
  
"They better of picked a good dwarf to play me." Gimli grumbled.  
  
"No, no, no. There is only Men in this movie."  
  
"A MAN is playing ME?!"  
  
"Aye. Let's go, let's watch and see how well we are portrayed." Legolas carried Gimli into the theater, bought two tickets and started to go in.  
  
They were stopped by a usher. "Excuse me, but you can't have weapons in a movie theater. You need to get rid of your bow, arrows, and daggers." He informed Legolas.  
  
"Get rid of my bow and arrows?!" Legolas asked, appalled.  
  
"Yes and-and why are you carrying that bearded man?"  
  
"I am NOT a Man! I am a Dwarf."  
  
"This is my companion, Gimli."  
  
"Yes but why are you CARRYING him?" The usher demanded.  
  
"Many, many, many years ago Legolas took me." Gimli said. "The reason I have not yet died is because Legolas has yet to put me down."  
  
"What?" The usher asked.  
  
"You heard me! In all these years Legolas has not put me down at all! Not ONCE!........................... and I REALLY need to go to the bathroom!" 


End file.
